Quite often when I am online, I like to make up little News stories to keep the players in my group entertained (especially when trading), so I thought I might make a few stories here 


Top story tonight:

Fierce battles were seen today in the Alexadria system as Corsairs and Outcasts tried to finally take control of the system as the main pirate organisation. Most of these scuffs have been sighted from miles away, and many cruisers have been seen frequenting the areas around Planet Darius and the Perdicass Depot.

All freelancers are advised to stay away, although this is only temporary, as they all seem to be leaving trade convoys alone and just going after each other instead. These homocidal acts from these powerful pirate organisations could finally secure the system for one side, once and for all. Again, the Europa Navy caution all Freelancers to stay away from these areas.

Comfort, AoF Void news.


News updates will be posted at a later time. If this just sounded really stupid be quiet about it will you? Any fans would be appreciated

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2nd story for tonight!

Scientists are beginning to worry about the stability of the Red Giant at the centre of Omega-11. The star itself has been unstable for some time, but is degrading even faster than ever now. No evacuation efforts have been made lately, but the diamond miners there seem quite unscathed by the news. One miner had this to say: "We have been living with radiation for years! Now, why would we worry about a quick death when we're going through a slow one? A supernova is no problem to a radiation poisoned man like myself!". Quite scary their resistance to it eh?

Evacuation plans have been drawn up for those who wish to get out, and many are doing just that - getting out. It will take years for the star to finally go, but people are still quite anxious about it.

The good side of this? Pirate activity has decreased to a all-time minimum, barely fifteen percent of what it was before. This however has caused annoyance amond the bounty hunters, who are now leaving the system in their droves for better hunting grounds.

Comfort, AoF Void news.

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More news from your reporter, Comfort


Today it has been decided that the AoF will not be going ahead with sharing Omicron Alpha as their home system with the Tercio clan. Instead they may be opting for a easier-to-take, but no quite as rewarding, Omicron Gamma. They may have to go back through Black Legion and Syndicate space (aka Omicron Theta) to get back to Alexandria and most other systems.

AoF representatives are still awaiting confirmation from the trading wing to see if this is appropriate for their trading routes. The location is still being disputed at this point, and may not be chosen for a while. The AoF leaders are however still up for system suggestions.

Comfort, AoF Void news.


NOTE: From now on news will not be updated dail or hourly, it will be updated when I see or hear the news itself

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Thanks for the comments Albert 


Today it seems that the story from tuesday was not entirely true. There has been some discussion about the takeover of Omicron Alpha and the AoF leaders have decided instead to take it by force instead of treaties. Judging by the comments on it, they could have a real battle coming.

All AoF members are advised to wait until the end of the month to start taking Alpha over from Tercio. They are hoping this will not incite an all-out war, but that's probably not going to be the case.

Their leaders are still discussing how to guard the base if there is going to be hostility from any clan. But there is no doubt - they will not let it fall.

Comfort, AoF Void news.



Merry Christmas AoF

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Morning report.


We have a new wing to guard this new base in the new mod. The will be named the '[AoF][G]' or '=AoF=Guard=' wing. They will have a constant position at the base, no wandering off or they will be instantly terminated.

There are rumours of a capitol ship being stationed at the base as well, but this is subject to quite a bit of scrutiny.

Comfort, AoF Void news.

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Ringing in the new year!

A few Liberty Navy officers decided to ring in the new year the fun way - by jumping a couple dozen Liberty Rogue convoys. It all started off well for them, they were having fun, they had about 28 kills clocked, and then their radios turned to screaming and then silence.

Currently it is unknown what befell them that fateful new years eve, but a search team found some wreckage in the Copperton field in Colorado, near where they were fighting. They are MIA currently, and presumed dead.

Comfort, AoF Void news.

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WE ARE SOLD OUT OF ICE CREAM!!!

Yesterday a cargo ship filled to the brim with Luxury Foods (mainly ice cream), crashed into the atmosphere of Planet Manhatten. It is a sad day for all Manhatten children, they really love their ice cream. There were nearly riots in the street, mostly comprised of disgruntled fat guys and children on a sugar low. They were dispersed after a hosing down.

Just a note, this is serious news. seriously.

Comfort, swearing this is real news.

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Hmm maybe I will, not really for me to decide 


To this evenings story:

We've all heard the saying 'Curiosity killed the cat', and it was very well proved yesterday when a Kusarian fighter called 'The Black Neko' was shot down by Outcast fighters. It is believed that Hackers were involved as well, because the last transmissions coming from The Black Neko were all heard as "What is that? I swear I can hear someones distress signal, but... where is it coming from?". The fighter was apparently following a distress signal from a nearby trader, but it turned out to be an ambush.

Authorities are still trying to figure out why he was targeted, as the pilot wasn't very well known, nor was his cargo was very valuable. "We're just baffled at this" one of the officials was quoted saying. All in all, it's still a mystery.

Comfort, AoF Void news.

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Hello there and welcome to the news! Sorry I haven't been in for a while, you know how summer holidays goes


Anyway, to the news.

Yesterday afternoon, a DSE convoy crashed into a planet and lost their cargo and ships to the incurring explosion. No survivors have been found, although no one is sure why the ships crashed into the planet. Experts believe the navigational systems aboard the freighters were damaged and not functioning properly.
We have some pictures taken by a amateur photographer aboard a passing fighter to show you, just to show how obliterated the wreckage is:

News from the Void!

Judging by that photo, I would say that indeed the navigational systems were malfunctioning, because nothing in their right mind would hit a planet head on. But then again, I'm not a technician... grumble... why can't I be a technician... I'm just a qualified as those dopes are...

Oh! Erm... thankyou for reading! Gotta run!!

Comfort, AoF Void News!


"OI YOU!!! GET BACK HERE!!!"
"Oh dear, oh dear..."

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Hello there, and welcome to the evening/morning/any time of the day you happen to be reading this news.
To sum up this days events, it's quite a funny series of disastrous events. Slightly like the assasiantion of the Hungarian Prince that sparked of WWI... Then again, nothing like that.

Today, several commodity merchants crashed in what authorities are calling 'The funniest yet saddest damn crash of 2115! Each tanker had a different load on it. The first tanker had H-Fuel on board, which is what caused the explosion in the crash. The second and third tankers had tonnes of fresh, smelly Kusari fish. Fourth, fifth and sixth had hundreds of gallons of water, and the final 6 had Oxygen, Methane and hundreds of other gases harvested and used in Planet-Forming.
When these ships collided outside Planet Los Angeles, there was at first a gigantic explosion of Oxygen, Methane and H-Fuel, which caught another two Police wings and all the escorts of the freighters and instantly killed them. The water was then boiled and the fish was cooked instantly as well, and then rocketed out beyond the reaches of the fires that burned with the freighters, and started pelting nearby ships with their strangely comical cargo. The fish are still floating through the Calofornia system, and LPI are trying to track their movements so no convoys hit them in the Trade Lanes.
The fish and water are still raining down on Planet Los Angeles, and all residents are advised to stay indoors pending showers of fried fish. All Freelancers are also not allowed to land on the planet, as it is still not safe to fly through these fish storms.


In other news, a new mod edition is being made for the '2115 mod' after Voidans were complaining a few too many new systems and WAAAY too many new planets. It is unclear upon the release date for this new release, but it's obviously going to be very soon.


Comfort, reporting very strange raining fish and a new mod update, on AoF Void News.

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Kusari epedemic!!

Tonight we have recieved word of an evil overlord taking the throne in a bloody coup. Oh wait... these guys are Japanese not Fijian...

Oh well, non-racist startover!


In tonights racist slur, Comfort, a respectable and reputable Reporter for the Void's AoF News, is being sued for acts of racism at all surviving Pacific islanders from Sol where once we did live. Mostly aboard the Unioner-owned Pacifica base and nearby Freeport. They seem to be annoyed at his Coup-loving portrayals of Fijians and all Pacific island races (Excluding Maori. They just claim everything.). They current sue is at 100,000,000 credits, but is expected to rise as this is nothing divided between about as many Pacifica and Freeport Pacific islander residents.

The now sued Comfort, AoF Void News.

"Oh god am I screwed..."

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Checking microphone...
Checking video feed...
Testing connection...
Checking wave output...
News broadcast active.

*gun shots heard in background*
Hello my faithful viewers! Sorry I've been away for a while - after a got through that court case, I started up a new terrorist group in spite. I now have many followers and are holding out well. I'm evacuating this facility now, so I won't be talking for a while.

As you can hear, I have a raid going on. The defences we currently have are being overwhelmed, so I have to get out now. The Libertonians and the Bretonians are really on my ass lately... after I took out a Freeport outpost (that was packed with opressors, I might add), all hell broke loose...

*sound of a door being kicked down and soldiers tramping in, heavy fire still prevailing*
"S***!!"
"We gotta go NOW!!!"

Oh well viewers, I have to be back later... right now, here's the only news I can give you:

New systems have been found, and new species have been to. They are IN THE GOVERNMENT!! It'll be like the Nomads all over again - except this time, they're PREPARED for the resistance - they know about the order, they have many spies, they are looking to WIPE US OUT!! They... they aren't aliens - they're Extra Dimensional Beings! They... they're in our population they... they will try to take our main population to their safe zones, and then the rest of us will be.. more controllable... We.. we can't win this - they will WIPE US OUT!!
Get out while you still can... oh god, they're coming NOW!

*sounds of a chopper starting up*
"GO GO GO!!!"
Okay, thankyou for listening, my children--err, viewers...

*bullets heard bouncing off the helicopter*

--End Transmission--

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*sounds of bullets bouncing off metal in background*

Hello, fellow Siruisians! It would seem that I am still on the run - those bloody Corsairs can't keep their defences up lonf enough to defend anyone out here... been hanging out around thier planets trying to avoid police patrols. Unfortunately, we got caught, and now we're trying to shake some Fighter wings and a Cruiser compliment. When you piss of a house, they send in the big guns. Or at least, big to us. After all, we have all of 2 guns active and 3 ships, 1 of which is a damn AT!
Alright, since we could be blown up at anytime, and I REALLY need to get to the bridge, I'll make this brief.

We have a crisis situation here. The new species has spies in our fleet... right now, we're being demolished... but by house corporations, damn them. They have no idea of the peril they are in... and that the Order is just becoming a pathetic excuse for a fighting force... these days, they're all just media hype. The fight has left them with this new race. They have 5 times the power of the Nomads, and that's calculating even before the Hypergate reactivation.
The Order is keeping it under wraps, but they can barly hold them down. The Monkeys and Robots have stepped up their patrols to help shelter the Order from the Nomads while they drive off this new species.
Soon, we will face the same crisis as the Nomad war, yet again. This time, it will be worse. They will more than trigger the houses into annihalating each other - they will do it themselves! They barly need to sabotage, they have the means, the firepower, and the brains to take the tactical operation to full scale war.
We are hopeless. The race is doomedunless we get Sleeper Ships out of here yet again. We must find another Colonisable star system, must yet again send our people away to a distant land, never to see them again. It's a sorry truth, but it must be done. We have done it before, we can do it again. Let's pull this off clean and quick.

*a large explosion rocks the ship*
Holy! Crap, we gotta go, I need to help with the guns... Talk another time, my humble listeners!

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Setting connections...
Raising audio feed...
Online


*sounds of ships taking off in background, mixed with soft rock on loudspeakers*
Hello, my good watchers! My militarist group seems to have claimed its own base in the Sector! We took over an old gas miner pretty much, but it gives us free H-Fuel - very good for our ever-expanding fleet.
Now, enough about me, here is the latest news:

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The term homocide must not mean much these days - after all, people die every second in dogfights with outlaws alone - but, it takes to some people. The rates of murders have been going up dramatically lately, after outlaw factions have been noticing ever growing cracks in the armour of the houses.

As we progress in our industrialisation, we have been running down the mining fields in the inner Tau, Omega and Sigma systems. This means we must travel further to get our raw materials. And this means that the house navies must be stretched ever further to protect our interests in the border worlds. This means that we have barly any protection at home, as the Police can hardly fill in the great gaping hole that the missing navies have left behind.

As this happens, outlaw factions see their chance and hit them where it hurts - behind the lines. More kills are happening now thanks to this that we are losing more than we are gaining. Soon, we may not even have a police force to govern our home systems. At this point, it seems like Freelancer vigilantes are our only hope. Or at least, that's what the people paying for this broadcast say (damn, filthy, advert causing sunuva b****es). So, we must call YOU to the stand. YOU must protect the traders and the weaklings of the Void! Go now, and protect your brethren!! HEED THE CALL!!!!
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Yes, I realise that was sappy. It's not my fault, if I didn't say that, I'd lose my funding... damn dirty apes... (yeah, that's right, my newscast is funded by the MONKEYS!!)
Oh well, until next time.

-End Transmission-

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I've been cut off from the void for nearly a week. IT'S DRIVING ME MAD!!! I hate this PC... But, to relieve the tension (and possibly homocidal thoughts), here's news - from OGame!


Making the headlines for tonight:
Crisis in Deuterium brings entire fleets to a halt, as nearly every single Deuterium mine in the galaxies has it's workers on strike!! Fleets are stranded, prone to attack from any invasion force and useless to send their espionage probes to find any reasonably sized Deuterium stores.
The good thing? Hippie protestors have finally stopped complaining! Those sunuvas have finally SHUT THE HECK UP!!! It's a miracle for most beaurocrats, and a big loss of income for hippie exterminators. But no fear for them! They now have a new prey, one that is even more fierce than the last - COMPLAINING RIGHT WING DEMOCRATS!!! Exterminators are working feverishly around the clock to get them all, but they're multiplying too quickly. We advise all viewers to get as many earplugs as possible, and stay inside.

Thankyou for listening. Comfort (Not such a comfort), AoF OGame news

I do my best writing late at night - full of ideas and crazy sugar/caffiene hype from the day... yum

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News, news, news, it's all I do in this thread. I don't know why, but I think it has something to do with the title...

Anyway, here's the news for this evening:


A NUKE HAS BEEN DETONATED OVER MANHATTEN!! In a foiled Rogue (losers) attempt to bomb the planet of Manhatten in the New York system, a small nuclear device was detonated in the upper atmosphere of the planet. Millions of people are being evacuated from the fallout zones, at a great cost to the planets many citizens who are now temporarily without a home. Refugee camps have been set up just outside of the fallout range, and are already nearly filled to capacity.

Attempts to understand why the Rogues decided to do this are speculative at best, and no one can really figure out a major reason. LPI who intercepted the bombers were attracted by drunken radio transmissions, with Rogues bragging how much this woul piss off Liberton officials. Considering how drunk they were, most of the wing members were suprised they got anywhere near the planet at all, and if they any closer they probably would have just crashed anyway.

Meanwhile, stargazers on Manhatten are told to watch the skies for falling debris, which are very pretty fireworks, even if they can be deadly. Just watch it's not coming in your direction, and you should be fine.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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News for tonight! Or today! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!!!

Anyway...


On every planet, no matter whether it's in a fictional universe or not, has volcanic and tectonic activity. In the Sirius of the Nomad wars and 2115, it is the same.

On the mostly terraformed planet of Harris in the Los Angeles system, wokers for Planetform Incorporated accidentally used too many explosives in a attempt to extract more water from the earth to terraform more quickly (being several months behind schedule prompts craziness), and caused a massive earthquake which then sparked a volcanic eruption in the area.

Damage has been estimated in the hundreds of thousands already, and Planetform employees have been evacuated from the area, which was a small outpost station that was to be a small suburban community for ugly housewives. This has now been destroyed, and many are wondering where the ugly housewives will go. Many beautiful housewives are worries that they may have to live near them, which could really kill their sex life.
Back on topic, which I hate to be but in order to get my fake cheque I need to be, several men and women (equality, people) have been killed or badly injured and are on nearby Los Angeles getting treatment for smoke inhalation and burns from flying molten material and raging fires that have begun on the planets surface. Ash clouds extend miles into the air, causing space traffic delays and making it almost impossible for stargazers t see the Tahoe Ice Cloud, which is seriously pissing off the amateurs.

This news advises freelancers to stay away from the area at all costs - engine trouble is our greatest foe, above even the Nomads! Also rioting has begun, as the amateurs really HATE not being able to see their space junk. I mean stars. Whatever...


Comfort, AoF Void News

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A flock of sparrows of mammoth propotions was spotted on planet Manhatten today, prompting rioting and paranoia as bird poop engulfs the planets citizens. Also, many people have come back from the dead, prompting many people to change their views on Ancient Native American Folklore, as in their beliefs sparrows and 'Psychopomps' or 'Harbingers of the living dead', as they are the soul ferriers from the underworld. Yes people, this IS the - majorly disgusting - apocalypse for Manhatten. Ha-ha Libertonians, ha-ha.

As you can tell, it was a VERY slow news day. The end.


Comfort, AoF Void News. Boy, am I bored...

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Today the representatives from the four houses met at a secret summit, and were duly massacred. An unprecedented fleet of 2000 Nomad ships, from Nomad Battle ships to Valkyrie N1's were involved in the attack, and completely destroyed the station at which they met at.

Ironically, the new Freeport 7 was the stage for the attack - and, like it's sister station, it was completely destroyed. Nobody made it out alive, any Escape Pods that made it out of the station were shot down and all rescue parties were chased off from the area by heavy Nomad Laser fire for hours after the event had transpired.

Nobody knows why the Nomads attacked, or why the hell the politicians at the event didn't move it somewhere else, as it was well known that there was a lot of Nomad activity in the area thanks to the Jump Hole to Tempest within 5 Kilometres of the station. Anyway, thanks to this, all Vice-whatevers were brought to power, and now we're ruled by dictators. This is exactly why I moved to the Independent systems after the first Nomad war. You fools stayed, and now you're DOOMED!!! Hah! The crazies win BITCH!! Woohoo!

*cuts out*

"We're experiencing managerial difficulties at the moment. Please stand by."


Comfort, AoF Void News

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Notices have come in of a Giant Whale floating about in the New Tokyo system in Kusari. Patrolas have been sent out to look for it, but so far it looks like a hoax.

Wait a minute... news coming in... it is a hoax. People are told to grab their torches and pitchforks and meet up at Planet New Tokyo for some hunting of the ultimate kind - Bounty Hunting. The perpetrator of the story is told to be... *gulp*... Comfort of the AoF. Well, I guess this is what happens when you try to create your own news. Goodbye now.

"Where's my keys? Oh goddammit, never mind! How do I hijack a ship again? Bother, bother, bother, bother..."

Comfort, AoF Void News

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A skirmish was witnessed in Colorado today, just outside Planet Denver. The fight was a staged event, done as a demonstration to the travelers and traders that were in the system at the time as a show of their security, and a warning to those who cross the LPI.

It was set up by the LPI's head man, Crundy McFeatherson. He said that, "The public needs some insurance from their police that they can protect them. This was the perfect way to show it, as far as we could stretch our resources for, anyway. We're investing everything at the moment in a secret project in the Texas system. Oh crap. Errr... don't write I said that."
After this rather strange comment from the beaurecrat, he shuffled back to his Armored Transport, for his trip back to Texas.

The demonstration was made up of many hired Freelancers, wannabe actors, and LPI officers. Many of the actors, after having asked for a space-trailer, were fired. With a third of the crew gone, they also took to hiring escorts from passing convoys, which, incidentally, made it an great time for opportunistic Rogues, increasing the Liberty Navy's patrols for the day in Galileo and Kepler. On one side of the fight were the Rogues and the Hackers (the Freelancers, actors, and the escorts), and the LPI heroes (LPI officers), and a few transports which were also being hired for the event (passing traders, duh).

At the height of the combat, the precedings were interrupted by an annoying level 14 in a Banshee, who flitted around the area until he blew himself to smithereens in the atmosphere of Planet Denver.

The staged combat was a great success, with over 200,000 turning up to the proceedings, and many thousands of dollars were made from the charitable donations (in other words, everyone was rounded up and forced to pay. Not at gunpoint, of course. No LPI officer would ever hurt a House member.). Several people escaped the pay, and are now being tracked by LPI undercover agents.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Grave robbing in the ultimate way was commited today by Corsairs in Omicron Alpha. They slipped in through the Omicron Theta jump hole in the southern end of the Sinestro (I think...) Cloud.

The Southern Sirius space pirates somehow got through the thought-to-be impenetrable defence lines of the Outcasts, got to the Unknown 1 Jump hole, and then pinched all of the Outcast fighters positioned around the hole. This comes after a hit on several Corsair patrols in the Sigmas, and is thought as a classic 'you-hit-me-I-hit-you' tactic, used many a time in many a place by many a faction, all bent on their evil doings. It's so widespread, even cartoon characters do it. I mean, even Gitmo does it for Christ's sake! Err... back on topic... the Corsairs took every single burial ship, but were ambushed by a Nomad patrol that came unexpectedly out of the hole. Fortunately for them, they are excellent fighters and took the four down in seconds.

The Outcasts were very angered by this action by their cunning foes, and are now on the lookout for any Corsairs they can get their hands on - shoot to kill is the motto, and Outcasts have been known to always take this option to heart. Revenge wrecks are bound to be everywhere, so all scavengers are on the lookout in the Border Worlds along patrol paths of the Outcast and Corsair patrols, just for harvestable wrecks. There's plenty to go around, so go on - join in! Even I'll be there! So come on, join your favourite reporter in profiting on others misery!


Comfort, AoF Void News

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'Bleeding Electricity', a new and upcoming band from Bretonia, have been captured by Molly's today in the Dublin system.

They were going to play a concert for the miners on Graves Station, when they were suddenly ambushed just outside the Minefield surrounding the station. Transmissions ceased soon after the kidnapping. Just half an hour later, a ransom transmission was recieved by the Bretonian Police Authority from the Molly's base in Dublin, Arranmore. They demand 200,000,000,000 credits, and if they don't get it within two days, they will execute the captives.

Since the band members have no family (they all died from internal bleeding after being trampled in the mosh pit at one of the band's concerts), no relatives can give them any money. All money is being raised right out of the Public's pocket, and people are asked to give generously. If they don't - well, let's just say, they'll be sleeping with the space-fishes.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Corsairs today finally made a move with their plans against the Hessians. Their first positioned battalion made a move again the Ronneburg base in Omega-5, and were destroyed En Masse.

The well put together plan was foiled, when it was leaked via spies on the nearby Freeports. The plan was leaked to the public via the new outlets in the systems surrounding the Corsair homeworld of Omicron Gamma. Corsairs are now rounding up many staff in the High Command of the Corsair fleets, hoping to weed out the loud-mouthed traitor.

In the meantime, the Corsair fleet has been heavily damaged and the Hessians are taking this as a major opportunity to take Omega-5 once and for all. They are massing their offensive fleet in Omega-11, in preperation for the attack on the system.

The Rheinland Military and Police forces are happy to have these threats allieviated, even if it is only temporary, and are trying to map all the Jump Holes that this Pirate faction use in their space. This also counts for the Bretonia Armed Forces and their Police forces, who are employing the same tactics to find the Jump Holes that the Corsairs use. Their search is not as effective, however, owing to the fact that they still have the Mollys, Outcasts, Hackers, and Gaians to worry about. This just proves, once again, that Bretonia is a hotbed of criminal activity and they should all be exterminated.

Oh crap, did I just say that out loud? I gotta go...


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Advances on the western front! No idea what that means, but here's the story, anyway...


People on Planet Denver have deserted an entire city after Marbles overran several buildings when a Luxury Goods Transport exploded in the lower atmosphere. Hundreds are dead and many hundreds of thousands were injured when the deadly rain of Cats Eyes and Opals fell out of the sky, surprising the unsuspecting residents of Hydro Minoris, a water-saturated island city. Fortunately, the traffic in the city at the particular time of day was surprisingly light and many thousands escaped injury simply by doing their jobs and travelling slowly or half-arsedly.

Nobody quite knows yet why the Transport detonated in midair, but many think it was the work of the Xenos, who have been targeting Consumer Goods shipments coming out of Kusari lately. This will be verified by the LPI, who just plain hate Xenos and say their "Screw You" Policy will make the responsible completely free while they blast someone away to cover over their just not bothering-ness.

On the lighter side, thousands of children now have large stores of Marbles, and are using them to gamble in their games of Marbles. LPI have started recruiting 'Little Coppers', to head off scammers and skinheads from terrorizing the little gamblers.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Written By Albert

Zoner citizens of Nereid becoming rich!!

Since Omicorn Alpha has been lately the most active system in Sirius, all citizens of Nereid are making lots of money. The bars are full of dry pilots, the hangars are full of semi-destroyed ships from everywhere, even the churches are full of traders praying for a safe trade run in OA's space.

-"Yeah, I worked 13 hours today, I bought a new and bigger hangar and I still have 6 ships in the street waiting for repairs"- Said a tired but happy mechanic.

-"Nereid is having a sweet moment right now. We'll be soon more important than Malta, and I hope the Sirius council will retake again our request to move OA's capital to our great Planet"- Said Gerhard Morgs, the proud governor of Nereid.

-"What?!?...the who?!?! ...against what?!?!"- Said a grandma catched in the supermaket. -"All I know is that everything's quite more expensive than last week! Mr Morgs is doing nothing for ancient people!"-

Albert-Hash, AoF Void News.

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An angry mob has been sighted today, after an evil man by the name 'Albert-Hash' was seen reporting the news in the usual reporter, Comfort(s), place. They claim to want their favourite man back on the news cast, and will do anything within their power to get him back.
Now, if you don't excuse me, I think I'll go join them. DEATH TO THE IMPERSONATORS!!!

Comfort, AoF Void News.

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For any of you who have ever used the anallergy "When pigs fly", then today, you might have a few things to do.

The reason for this? A genetics laboratory in New London was overtaken by a few hundred protesters, protesting that it was "Cruel to animals and to Mother Nature". Subsequently, all animals there were freed, Flying Pigs included.
It is not quite clear what reason the Scientists were given to engineer Flying Pigs, but Bretonian Police who searched the laboratory later found biological controllers and a "When Pigs Fly" anallergy detector, and are currently working on the theory that the Scientists just liked irony.

Many residences in the area are also being harrassed by flying, looting Monkeys, a herd of Unicorns and a tea-drinking Albatross that goes by the name of George. If you see any of these animals, please report the sighting to nearby officials. If your daughter has explained that the horn is just glued on, don't trust her. If an Albatross talks to you in a British accent, then give him some tea and tell him to wait there.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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After an extended rest period, your beloved writer/editor/basic copyright owner of his own newspaper is back, and with more fictional serious news for your enjoyment.


Today, a major operation to take out the Rogue bases in both California and New York ended in total and utter faliure when the Battleships and Cruisers in the fleet sent to destroy the bases got stuck in the fields surrounding them. According to an expert, the spaces between asteroids in the fields was dreadfully miscalculated, ending in the ships flying around for hours ramming everything in sight.

This is a major embarrassment for both the Liberty Navy in itself, and the Geographers that planned the operation. This sort of thing hasn't happened since Cutscene #206, in which the Osiris kept ramming into asteroids in the field that it was flying through. This scene was later cut, but is available for viewing here.

During the operation, however, they did manage to shoot down a fair few number of Liberty Rogue ships. "The Navy pilots shot them down like flies," one commander noted from his bridge during the failed assault. "They just couldn't stop laughing at us trying to get out. It was both an embarrassment and a pleasure to see and hear that scene," a wing leader remarked.

The fleets managed to escape unharmed, save one ship which got wedged between a rock and and a hard place, and is currently awaiting pickup by a DSE Hauler. Everyone aboard, including the commander, just wants to go home. After that ordeal, no one can blame them.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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If you see a Dragon, you might just not be high!

According to some pilots in Babylonia space recently, there have been Dragons flying around the collapsing star near the Opis Research Base. "They were flying with nothing there, man... it was like they were just floating bodies of plasmoid energy..." said one witness of the dragon appearances.

One was caught on tape apparently, but one religious man ended up thinking it was porn and flushing it out the airlock. The men plead that they were in no way intoxicated at the time, but their believability was seriously shaken when two tonnes of Narcotics were found in their hold. As per usual of most arrestees, their plea was: "It isn't ours, dude!"

Just in case this is true, several news agencies (and by several I mean just ours) are going to stake out the place for the next few days to look for these so-called 'Dragons'. Now, if you don't excuse me, there is packing to be done, coffee to be made and Mix CD's to be burned for our forty-eight hour stake-out.

Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Tonight I looked up into the sky, and saw the most spectacular scene imaginable. Tonight I was also sent to hospital for severe damage to my Irises and Corneas due to exposure to intense light. That's right, people, the light from that supernova of the Omega-11 sun I mentioned in my first article has reached Stuttgart! It has also reached Omega-7, but not even God could see through that damn cloud.

It is indeed a beautiful display, but unfortunately it is unviewable. Every single person who has viewed it has gone temporarily blind, some permanently. Pilots in space have done this, and most of them didn't make it back to port. Memorial service for these stup--I mean brave pilots is next Wednesday. Pirates have also been recorded smashing into planets in record numbers, prompting the Rheinland Police to take action and sell tickets for the fireworks display of crashing LWB and Hessians. Other House Police and Naval forces have been doing this a lot of late, and the localised Rheinland Police "Just wanted to try it out," as was joked by Senior Lieutenant Furtfranken.

The Rheinland Govermant is warning everyone to stay away from this system, but since almost their entire Naval and Police force is decimated from the last (and ongoing-ish) Nomad war, nobody really thinks this could be a credible threat to their passage into the system.

So, come on people, BLIND YOURSELVES WITH ME!!

Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Today miners from Planet Pittsburgh were quickly evacuated when a Deep Space Engineering experiment on Maine went horribly wrong. In a re-enacment of the Texas Incident of 500 AS, the DSE experiment crews were testing some new Jump Gate technology, which subsequently went up in flames. The Radiation and blast wave of this particular incident was tiny compared to the Texas Incident, but still quite large, engulfing half of Maine and sending Radiation storms towards Pittsburgh.

Contact was lost with the Researchers a few moments after the explosion was seen by a trading convoy delivering supplies to Pittsburgh. A space traffic controller had this to say; "The traders were just joking about some Rogues that tried to jump 'em, and suddenly one of them shouted, 'Holy s***, Maine is lighting up!' and suddenly everyone was yelling and trying to figure out what was going on. It was a complete frenzy, and only a few knew that some of our guys were up there running some tests. We already knew what was happening, but no one seemed to be wanting to listen. Panic is NOT a pretty sight, I can tell you that."

Panic attacks really can be deadly, as now many are dieing from Radiation poisoning from lack of action. It took at least an hour for the first evacuees to get off of the planet, and by that time there was already major fallout on the side of the planet adjacent to Maine at the time. Many are still being assesed whether they might make it through, but so far, many more may not make it through to Pittsburgh's tommorow.


Comfort, AoF Void News. Yes, this story sounds sad, but it really isn't. If it was, I wouldn't be using this smilie:

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If your God is believed dead, you can't believe in anything anymore, nad you really don't have any values anymore, then you only have one thing left to you - to drink yourself stupid! Of course, many people hear this cry and follow the herd.

There are of course, a few lesser people who decide to swim upstream instead. Who are these people? Well, nobody quite knows yet. But, they have been leaving their mark on New Berlin youth, by killing and burning several New Berlin bars and Nightclubs with their own Alcoholic (and extremely flammable) beverages. Drapings of this are very easily set alight, as any Arson Magazine-readers will know. That's right, they have a magazine now.
Sick but cynical, as they always say.

Rheinland Police and Military Forces have yet to identify any names or parts within the organization, and the fact that they're under-funded, under-manned, and over-stretched in their own space doesn't help anything. Although the organisation is killing people, it seems to many that they are really "Providing a service to our fair Colony," a thought in many citizens minds who are tired of having to clean up after a weekend night of drunken antics of annoying youthful partying.
Considering most participants in this most hated of weekly events have been disowned by their families, nobody really mourns for them - except their Goth Girlfriends, but they're too busy grieving over themselves to do much in the way of a Eulogy.

The way it's gonna go? Nobody knows. But it seems that the dark side of New Berlin may be in for a firestorm.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Breaking news!: The economic booms experienced lately in Omicron Alpha have taken a sharp turn for the worst. Shipment after shipment of Cardamine and Optronics have come flooding through the respective bases of the Sleeper Ship Hispania and Planet Malta, the residents have become tired of the commodities and have started hungering for things more afield.

Many traders who came to this System too late have been seen sitting in the streets, coffers help out, hoping for that occasional sympathetic dollar to come their way. In response to this, Outcasts have started roving "Death Patrols" in the streets and nearby hills to push out the squatters, hobos, bums, tramps, and various other begging and stealing types. Their officials have said repeatedly, "Shove off!! You came for the riches, and you came too late. Life's a gamble, and you just lost. Any more anallergies I need to put out there before you go away?"

Many have tried to leave, but for some reason, just can't - probably due to the fact that they have nothing but a few sympathetic dollars and soiled puppy-dog eyes. If they had some more, they would probably be allowed to stay.
The Outcast Undertakers, however, are having a field day. "The Government pays for these burials, because they don't want them stinking up the streets! Now THAT, my friend, is business," said one individual who was in the process of Embalming for some reason.You'd think they'd make it cheaper.

Comfort, AoF Void News.

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The Saints are coming! Yes, you heard it right, the Saints are back - and with a vengeance. Fearsomely protecting their 'Holy Rock' in Sparta (Or pet rock, as I prefer to call it.... but I can't, 'cause I'm a professional reporter) with guns blazing almost as fiercely as their hearts. Re-swelling their ranks with new recruits, this old a noble(-ish) organization is here to bring help to all who need it, rather than wan-ton destruction or crazy raids on Pirate bases for almost no reason other than dramatic effect.

Many other clans have tried to pierce the fierce armor of their ships, and many have perished in their failed attempts. The way this reporter sees it, you should never cross a Spartan, much less a Saintly one. If the events of last night were anything to go by, then ignorance is bliss, gentlemen. Just stay away, and they will not touch you. But, knowing you people, you'll probably just hover around the pet rock until Kingdom come waiting for the Saints members to come back online. Well, good for you. Even if you are suicidal.

And, as for some of these new members, well, they are alright guys. Tobi is, well, a good PvPer as well as being Tobi. And Retribution is a bloody Retribution-king! Nice training Regime, I'd imagine...


Comfort, Off-Topic stuff because this really isn't a new story, AoF Void News.

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Mars attacks! (well, not really..)

In their version of a hostile Earth takeover, Nomads have taken the planet formerly known as Dante in the Omcron Major system. This, even being a hostile incursion, has prompted no response from any House Police or Navy. Their simple response was, "We simply don't care. Rogues are of no concern to our interests, except when they're being wiped out. Then, maybe a few less people will be killed. Just hope they don't screw up my chances of becoming an Ace."

However, many outlaw factions operating in conjunction with the Liberty Rogues, including Outcasts and Hackers, have sent patrols to investigate the Nomad defences, but no trace of them has been seen or heard since. The defences, presumably, are most probably non-existent. Given the Hackers and Outcast rate of survival in fighting, especially against Nomads and their Valkyrie N1's, the speculation is limitless.

The system, being linked to the Tempest Nebula by an unlocated wormhole, is in an unfortunate position to defend against the Nomad invaders, as they are so close to their own home ground. The Zoners and Rogues, however, are at least two systems away from any House system, and therefore, out of range of quick backup. Not that Rogues would get much backup from these systems, but it was worth a mention.

For now, everyone is just watching in fits of laughter, as the extremely horrible pilots that once tried to kill them now try to kill Nomads, who are dominating them worse than the Agiera and DSE Convoys.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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A Rehabilitation Asylum for Second-Generation Reavers was raided tonight, all occupants taken back, and all staff ruthlessly raped, skinned, and eaten alive. The Second Generation Reavers, of course, were then all killed as well. This would come from the Reavers philosiphy of; "If they don't work out the first time, they don't work out." Sources speculate that the Reavers just didn't want the Pilots rehabilitated and then to work against them, as they know locations of bases and have knowledge of tactics and loadout.

Bounty Hunters have been hired to chase after them, and are still in close pursuit. Some have been gunned down, but most are surprisingly still alive. "They're trying to use Guerilla Tactics on us, but are failing. Lets face it - these guys are just better at a full frontal assaults," mentioned the Leader of the chasing pack. Engagements are imminent, as they have crossed into Unknown 2, an actually known Base System of the Reavers.

Last reports on the base that caught the full brunt of the attack will be repaired in up to 5 mods. The base in question would prefer to stay anonymous, even though most reporters already know the name. As for me, I have only one thing to say about the name:

Nyaah, nyaah, nyaah, nyaah, nyaah, not gonna tell you!


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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If you bomb them, they will come. Or at least that's the rule with Nomads.

Bombing runs in Omicron Delta against Nomads have attracted a lot of attention from the Nomads - and any attention from a Nomad is bad attention. Their newly developed Highbreds (Or Hybrids, for anyone who can't make sense of it) are blasting their way through every Anubis MK2 and Conqueror sent at them. Order, Monkey and Robot strategists have worked out many new strategies aganst their incursions, but so far, all have failed.

The newly developed Monkey Battleships are being hastily assembled for use in Convoy protection, but are nowhere near large enough in number to be sent into active duty in Omicron Delta yet. If they are, Monkey Scientists and Tacticians say that, "They could be shot to pieces by Nomad Patrols easily when they're alone, or even worse - captured and used against us by the evil menace."

Until these new Battleships are mass-produced to sufficient numbers to combat this Nomad insanity, all planetary bombing runs will be suspended. Since all crews operating in the system will be on leave for an extended period of time, Alcohol, particularly wine, will be an extremely valuable commodity in this system. Bring it, and they shall drink! Feel free to join in the beer-fest too, it's for everyone

Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Gas is passed! H-Fuel fields in the Sigma systems are nearly run out, with only a year or two left, and there is a new crisis in the colonies: Fuel Shortages.

The GMG (Gas Miners Guild), Samura, and Kishiro, the three main companies resposible for the mining and distribution of this gas among the five colonies, are, as told by one representative; "We are in deep s***. If we run out now, every Navy patrol and Trade convoy will be brought to a complete standstill. Sirius will collapse under the economic and protective strain. Fuel rationing will be a near impossible task, with billions of people with spacecraft flitting about our Galaxy already. We, I will say once again, are in DEEEP S***."

In response to this, all GMG explorer convoys are now more frequent than ever, and are as well-equipped as possible, searching and discovering new systems in the hope that new gas reserves will be found in time. All convoys transporting H-Fuel around the place will be even more protected as well, in a bid to keep the precious fuel from harm. Outcast and Corsair attacks have increased as well in the Sigma systems, trying to take some gas for themselves. One message heard over comms from an Outcast in apology said; "Hey, everybody needs it! Down with money, up with combustion technology!" Corsairs just said; "Up yours, GMG!" The GMG thought they were Rheinlanders for a while, but figured it out when they saw that they were flying the M-7 Class Centurion.

The engineers of Kusari are looking for new ways to increase the fuel-efficiency of the current H-Fuel Drive, and are also researching into Chicken-poo powered engines. It's been done.... but not too effectively. Solar-powered drives are also being developed, but these are deemed impossible to function in Nebulas or clouds, or even with just a weak-starred system.

As for me, I'm stockpiling H-Fuel right now. And YOU can't have any! HAH! Although, the highest bidder can have it.... for a while. Interest gathers on it too. Come and buy, if you want your kneecaps lopped off.


Comfort, AoF Void News

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If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And what one says, another will follow.

After a major improvement in Pirate tactics, a rise in Bounty Hunter fatalities due to this, and paycuts due to no particular reason other than corruption and hatred, Bounty Hunters all over Sirius are defecting back to their notorious gangs of miscreants. "More money and more freedom! NOW DROP YOUR CARGO!" Said one defective Bounty Hunter, who just happened to be on a patrol near my ship at the time... annoying sunuva defective sprocket! In any case Sirius is becoming more unpredictable than ever, and the Bounty Hunters just don't help. I mean really. Changing RP in the middle of your round just ain't kewl!

But in all seriousness, Pirates are getting stronger by the day, and all House Navies must compensate for the increasingly large and better-trained opposition. Training, technology, repitition of training, increasing firepower, even MORE repitition of training, and just pure plain dumb luck are all that stand between these brave men (and possibly women) and the cruel, cold vacuum of space.

As for you, audience, you probably don't care. To you, this just means more killing opportunities for you and your Justice Mk1's. Or possibly something more advanced, I don't know what you carry. Just kill them already. KILL THEM. *Foams at the mouth, grabs a Daumman Shredder and blows the camera crew apart*


Comfort, AoF Void News. BLARGH!!!!!

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Never eat the yellow snow! (it's dangerous - you don't know what food dye that really is! Allergic reactions can be deadly.) But, of course, not everyone listens to the best advice.

As was shown by a recent civilian vigilante attack on Buffalo Base, owned by the Liberty Rogues. The civilians that pioneered the raid were gunned down with ease, but not for lack of planning. Or even firepower. No, it was for lack of listening. Not a single one of them knew what was in those Badlands. Why? They were from Kusari. And every Libertonian knows, a Kusarian never listens to any problems outside their own House or trade routes. (For most other Houses, it is the same, but we might as well insult who we can.) Not a single one listened to the news stories (me, of course), or the rumours (partly me, but mine are all insults and accusations), and walked straight into a Death Trap. They even ignored the huge, flashing, neon sign that read:

WARNING: DO NOT ENTER. NAVIGATIONAL HAZARD. SENSORS AND VISIBILTY REDUCED WITHIN. PIRATE PATROLS REGULAR. ENTER AT YOUR PERIL. AND ENJOY THE FAIR NEXT WEEK. VIVA LA PITTSBURGH MINERS!

And, alas, they were struck down.Not by the Liberty Rogues in their Bloodhounds as the civilians raiders expected, but by Outcasts. Outcasts in Stilettos. The Civilians in Hawks (with Flashpoint armament) didn't stand a chance against the Pyros and Dragoon onslaught. Cut to shreds. And we have it all on video, because I followed the poor bastards. I als regret to inform you that I was in an Armored Transport at the time and could fire back as effectively as a rock. If only there had been someone to throw me.

But, since the massacre happened on their turf, the Libertonian officials, for no particular reason, have FINALLY decided to go offensive against the New York Menace. "The Rogues shall be wiped from the heartland of our fair Liberty. It shall be cleansed of the infestation, never to return. Unless there's a party, then we're completely unarmed. So crap." Hopefully those not-so-clever-Rogues won't read the huge, flashing, neon sign out front.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Pittsburgh Miner Massacre!

Somehow (hopefully not due to the last broadcast), Rogues have successfully attacked and destroyed a massive jubilation festival for the Miners of Pittburgh. Somehow, Rogues apparently learned to take advantage of their surroundings and read the huge sign mentioned in the last update (again, hope it wasn't me who tipped them off). None of the LPI or Liberty Navy at the scene were armed, and this just sealed their fate even more. All patrols were cut off for the festival, which sealed their fate EVEN more. As if to make it even worse, half the people at the scene were trampled even before the Rogues got their first pot-shot out.

When the alarms were raised, everyone just fled for the hills. Even thought they would be even more exposed up there, some random Miner just yelled, "RUN FOR THE HILLS!", and everyone followed like the mindless Libertonian sheep they are. Needless to say, it as the worst massacre since the Dante invasion.
Still makes me giggle too. Rogues getting blasted by Nomads, how could you not laugh at that? Anyway, back on the subject.
These Rogues were surprisingly intelligent, and had the tactics of madmen. Not Reavers-type madmen, but madmen nonetheless. Their usual armament may do nothing but slightly scratch the usual ship hull, but are devastating to bare flesh. They burned through one, maybe two people at a time, cutting swathes through the crowd on the hilltop.

All in all, it was a huge massacre. But, the Rogues succumbed to their own stupidity in the end. Suddenly, they started dropping out of the sky, without apparent reason. All was silent. Later, it was found, the H-Fuel in their tanks had dried up. They didn't even notice the warning alarms or the flashing lights. Too transfixed on their easy prey, they didn't realise they were about to fall prey to gravity. Oh well, stupid is as stupid does!


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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They can see into your future, and yet they won't tell you what they see without full up-front payment, and even when you do pay they say it so mysteriously you can't understand what they're on about anyway, which is why absolutely everyone in the sector hates them. Yes, you guessed it - Psychics.

Now, if I could remember what I was actually meant to be telling you about - instead of just bashing Psychics (Which I love doing, don't get me wrong, but it's not particularly constructive and it doesn't get me paid. When do I get paid anyway...?). Ah, yes, that was it!

It's the new craze sweeping through the Five Houses - Psychic readings! Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous, but everyone believes in scams anyway. Everyone just loves to know their future, as it usually holds something interesting. And even if it doesn't, they love to listen anyway. From getting blown up by the next Pirate they encounter, to making the greatest trade profit of their life, to joining the navy and getting their vasectomies.

These Psychics are making such a profit that they have collected into their own union, and have subsequently bought the Luxury Liner Hawaii, just so that they have a more aesthetic location to do their readings. The fact that it's much more dangerous to get their doesn't deter their customers however, and their escorts are as powerful as their will to be conned out of their cash. Of course, the fact that the Psychics predict nothing but death is a slight mystery to some people, although to most who frequent the area, it isn't in the least.

The Outcasts and Corsairs in Sigma-19 really don't mind the extra traffic, and are reaping the rewards of ransoms and Luxury Goods. Fortunately a few Lethal Weapon and Die Hard incidents have plagued these Pirate Factions, making the trip a little more easy while the Pirates scan their holds for any escape pods that are labeled 'Good Guy' or 'Vigilante'.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Did you know Butterflies can fly Pirate Destroyers? So did I. Want to know how? Well, so does everyone else, so get in line with impatience and doubt.

A Pirate Destroyer (also listed under cargo ships, if you destroy one that is) was seen by Outcast spectators flying erratically through the Tohoku system, chased by several Pirate fighters firing everything they had at it. The chase was quite amusing to Outcast pilots, who just sat back and watched while pirates fought to simply get the Destroyer in their sights. "I don't know who was flying that thing, but boy did it piss those Pirates off. I swear, that's the first time we have ever not engaged Pirates on sight. It was just too hilarious to pass up watching!"
With this spectatorship going on, I also interviewed pirates about this incident: "No radio transmissions were being answered, and everybody who was chasing wondered what kind of mastermind could fly like that - it seemed so creatively insane! It was complete insanity down here. Believe me, Nomads could have invaded the planet and they would have run right back into the depths of space just because the amount of people running around for no reason."

The Pirate Destroyer in question, strangely enough, looked like it was trying to dock with a large asteroid several times. This asteroid was later identified as a previously unknown Dragon base. God knows how I haven't discovered that one yet. Although, the base seemed to be a bit unresponsive, especially with the fact that not even its turrets fired on the passing precession. Radio transfers later confirmed that the Dragons inside were laughing maniacally. Nobody can quite tell why not.

As for the pilot of this congregation, it turned out to be a single, small, remote control Butterfly. tThe radio transmissions used to control it were traced back to the area of my publishing studio. A search is being conducted by Pirates (secretly, of course) in this area, but so far no one has been accused.

Who knows who flew this monstrosity through the far reaches of Kusari space, mystifying a wing of hard-bitten Pirate veterans. It could have been almost anyone.... anyone.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Clowns can't frown... can they?

Dilemma has hit the five major House leaders as they have hit upon the most intriguing question of them all: Do clowns frown? One man asked this question at a summit last wekk, and since then, it has been passed back and forth, spawning all kinds of speculation and creating more questions than answers could ever... well, answer.

There is a theory that clowns only frown when paying exorbitant amounts of money, and has been proved to be completely and utterly true. I tried it! It was kind of depressing though... don't try it if you don't want to feel guilty

The speculation has lead to almost every scientist in the realm... err, in Sirius, and all research has been canceled. So no Ultra Pleasure Androids for christmas, boys. Synthetic Cardamine is down the tubes, Navy personnel have been called off for no particular reason other than providing tactical analysis of the Clowns. And they finally figured out what they've been doing too - planning a massive strike on the Nomads. Now that I've said that, prepare for all clowns to infested with those Octopus-like thingies. Watch your backs, children.

Warning you of impending doom from clowns, this is Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Damn Synth Foods! Everyone's doing it!

In a scandal that has rocked Liberty and its titanic economy right to their foundations, Synth Foods (a major Libertonian corporation), has been accused of birth defects owing to their revolutionary 'Synth Paste'. Judging by the name, I can't say they're far off.

This was all started by a Kusarian mother, who gave birth to a baby on Kyushu and found it had 2 heads, 5 hearts and one barnacle. Needless to say, it shocked the Doctors and Nurses into disbelief. "I... I think I know understand why people believe in religion. They don't have to worry about this stuff scarring them in Heaven... or wherever..." Said one Nurse. Crazy cow. The Doctors were no better, quoting; "The second head didn't seem quite alive... but from time to time, one head would lay still and the other would move. Serious Horror movie moment. Special effects too... I got puke all over my gown."

The Kusari lady, now positively identified as Lang Wang, is a suspect in this case. Synth Foods say she did something to the feotus, she says something in their product made her child end up this way. And you know how those courts always believe women. Even if they do happen to have connections in the Farmers Alliance. Big ones. And in the Hogosha.And in the Golden Crysanthemums. In fact, the list goes all the way to the Bundschuh. I dare not ask how they got there.
Neither will Synth Foods, who later decided to settle for a 40mil payoff. The criminals will be happy with that one. Lang certainly is. And she should be. Scandals work themselves up and the Libertonian corporation will be recovering from this for centuries to come, say some experts. I don't trust experts, though. After all, they predicted the great Dark Matter Storm of 750AS. Do you see it? I sure don't. And neither do the residents of Ames Research Station. Retards.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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What shall we do with the drunken Nomad, what shall we do with the drunken Nomad, what shall we do with the drunken Nomad, earliye in the mornin!

Today, a strange tactic has been adopted by Cargo Runners in the Borderworlds to counteract Nomad attacks - drop alcohol in front of their ships! A well known fact is that most Nomad ships seem to be grown rather than built, having large amounts of organic material in them rather than metallic constructs. Well, being organic, it means they're just a susceptible to drunkeness as us Humans - if not more.

This discovery was made completely by accident when a Convoy transporting Liberty Ale to Leonnatus was caught by a Nomad patrol while in the process of mooring. The Nomad Fighters closed in for the kill, the convoy not seeming to have a chance. But, by some miraculous event, most of the Nomad Lasers missed the ship and hit the Cargo containers, spilling their Ale-ish contents. The Fighters flew right through this, and a few seconds afterwards, started flying strangely erratically.
"They may fly erratically all the time, but this time it seemed.... different..." Said the Bridge Officer on board the Transport.
The Nomad Fighters flew off course into the Atmosphere of Leonnatus, and consequently blew up. One ship, however, didn't quite hit the atmosphere... it embedded itself into the side of the Transport. "It came out nowhere - I just heard a great bang, and I turned around, and there was the nose of a Nomad ship there! Thank god I had my Vac-suit on!" Shouted one gunner, while still trying to jettison his pod (we're always there that early. It's almost like we cause this stuff...).
An analysis of the ships' organic material indicated it was intoxicated at the time of the crash. Not surprising, seeing as the Nomad opened the ship cockpit without a suit on. He ended up in the atmosphere of Leonnatus, along with his fallen fellow spawn.

This tactic is being adopted all over Sirius, and is working wonders for Convoy protection - even against other fighters! "We dumped that Wine, and the bastard was blind! Last time I get attacked by an Outcast, I tell you!", shouted one belated Ageira trader. He was indeed blinded. Pirates are also counteracting this new 'dumping' tactic, as it has become known, are installing windshield wipers on their ships. It still works, and makes flying through a dust cloud easier too.

So come on, think of the Nomad ships! Give them some pleasure instead of splitting them apart with your Annihalators! DUMP SOME WINE!!


Comfort, AoF Void News. Please don't sue, I'm sure any copyrights have been broken long before I got here.

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Earlier today, a Robot patrol gunned down a Liberty Dreadnought patrol. The reasons are unknown, and the Robot High Council is saying nothing. The only clue are strange screaming and whistling static sounds on the flight recorder of the Dreadnought, which appear in the final moments. Investigation into these sounds is continuing, as is the investigation into where the offending Robot patrol went. The authorities are looking for Commander Droid 1, Wingman Droid 3, Ace Droid 5, and several other Robotical nemesis'.

The Dreadnought went down hard, as these pictures recovered from a life pod will attest:

News from the Void!

Unfortunately, no living thing was found in the escape pod, excepting a fly. We have no idea how the photos got in the life pod or how the life pod ejected. It's only speculation at this point, but apparently the Dreadnought was on some sort of a undercover mission. What that undercover mission was isn't beyond even speculation, but it may have been something to with the strange sattelites that have been found in Zeta-1 Scorpii and Tartarus.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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Is this Lord Of The Flies?

In an extremely bizzare Government Scandal, it has been found out that major Government Politicians have been but Androids, being operated by... well... there's only one way to say this. They have been run by hyper-intelligent Flies.

When the Vice President of Synth Foods was shot through the head by a Kusarian radicle (read story above :roll:). Turns out he had a hollow head (no surprises there) with nothing inside. Save one squashed fly (now there's the surprise!). It was a strange finding, and tests confirm (what the hell kind of tests are these?) that the fly was not killed after the shooting.

The Vice President was an actual biological construct, and the Fly is believed to have Telepath(et)ic abilities to control it. How these things have not been detected is a complete mystery to everyone, including the Fly itself. Although the fact that it was dead at the time kind of counts out its reply.

An investigation to find the other Flies in the ointment is underway, but given the nature of the Fly, they're probably already gone. How do we know the nature of the fly? Well, they wouldn't leave us the f*** alone on the Sleeper Ships, that's how.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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All Flies in the scandal above have been accounted for! We found a roster with one of them tht outlined all the Flies' names and hosts, and have captured/killed/maimed/nuked all of them. To death.

The next step, of course, was to find out how and why these things infected our politicians. The autopsies of the Flies found that they have Hel DNA. They have now been nicknamed 'The Flies From Hel'. Nobody even wants to know how this happened, although the more disgusting scientists have gone and said the Hel are just whores. Makes about right sense, and they are butt-ugly, which also seems to fit in with the theory... well, at least it makes sense for once. Those scientists are as confusing as... as... as... aww, dammit*!

Well since this discovery, Bounty Hunters have doubled their patrol sizes, although this really hasn't made a difference, because the Hel are indestructible when faced with just Bounty Hunter laser cannons. Even Rogues can't be killed by them. Bloody pathetic.

Well, since the Flies have all been tracked down (and then cut down), there really is no way to tell where they actually came from. Although everyone loves the Hel Whore theory for some reason. God, humans are wierd...


Comfort, AoF Void News.

*I know this is a bad production, but without the Void, my mind is creatively blank for Freelancer

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Today, something went wrong. No one knows where, no one knows how, but it happened. It erupted into your pathetic ruling parliament, and scattered them like bowling pins. Your leaders are gone, your masses disillusioned, what shall you do? It is chaos in the streets! Chaos in the trade lanes! Chaos in.... Baden-Baden? All we know is, it's everywhere! (maybe excepting Spa And Cruise planets and bases) And it's coming your way...

You may ask what this particular chaos is. What it is, what it's doing here, and what may have happened to release it. Well, I'll tell you this; it is no mere thing. It is, after all, not a thing at all. It is chaos. Just pure chaos. And this is no mere Warhammer 40,000 chaos; not, it is outside your computer/book/Playstation and pwning your neighbours and parliament. This is not a plan of the Black Legion. This is a plan of no one. This does not need a plan. It is chaos, afterall, and chaos never has a plan; it never has rules; it never has strategy - It just has chaos. And chaos is chaotic, obviously enough.

So, here's the plan: Hide underground for a while. C'mon, I got Water. I have Food Rations. I even have Consumer Goods. Cardamine as well. Better not let any LPI through, then. When it's over, we'll come back to the surface. We'll be Morpeople by then, so good luck with your new blue complexion!

Oh, and about this chaos thingie, you ask? Well, it's not likely to end anytime soon. I am told it looks like a giant piece of candy. Don't eat it, though - but I doubt you would anyway. It's the size of a planet, so far.


Comfort, hiding in a bunker, AoF Void News.

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Well, it had to happen sometime. Liberty has monopolised the car wash business.

Yes, it's true - as a new addition to Fort Bush, since it is quite the delta hub in New York - a car wash has been installed for Battleships, traders and fighters. An enterprising business originally led by space-carwash inventor Scanig Roggin, has been tested on Battleships and has been found to do an excellent paint job as well! Seems that the monopoly will never stop for Liberty, doesn't it?

Our stupid, unpaid intern has managed to secure these photographs:

He's a bad photographer, I know. Anyhoo, with these pictures sold to Rheinland - for a tidy profit, I might add - I'm sure our unpaid intern deserves at least 10 cents. I'd better go give it to him. Or I'll pocket it. They are bad pictures, afterall...

Back on topic, the carwash has already opened and is serving everyone. Just don't choose lime green for a colour - it does NOT SUIT ANY SHIP! Trust me, there is no way the Rogues can miss you either. And their the second worst shots in Sirius! (after the Gaians, of course)


Comfort, coping with a lime-green craft, AoF Void News.

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Dresden shall not fall! Oh, wait, it already has..? Dammit, not again....

As some of you may already have heard, the Syndicate have taken over Dresden in a bid to increase their reign of terror over Sirius! The forces of the 4S Squad and the ESF so far have not dettered them, even though they have launched strike after strike at the Syndicate base in Omicron Theta. The effects have been minimal, to say the least, and many craft have fallen to the hands of these insane cyborgs.

After an action last night involving a dogs' chew-toy and an ESF Battleship, the Black Legion decided this was getting too close to home and joined in the fray. The ESF route came in through the Alexandria jump hole, no doubt, but the Black Legion, being based around Omicron Gamma thought it was too close anyway.

The engagement did not last long, but the ESF craft got a couple of fighters down before it blew up. It was a spectacular fireworks display, by the way. Big and fiery and everything. Even had a space-motorbike making a jump across is at the end. But, alas, the situation in Dresden has still not resolved itself. The Syndicate remain in control of the system, and refuse to give an inch to any simple human Navy organisation.

Give a hand, if you wish, but you shall fail, like a... fish...?


Comfort, AoF Void News

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After the f***about in Dresden, and subsequent retribution in Omicron Theta with the Syndicate and Black Legion, the Reavers have decided to take a stab at being system-grubbing hoarders, and have had an invasion of New Berlin and Sparta.

Apparently it was massive carnage, even though only 1 Reaver seemed to cause all the panic. Insanity is their game, eating your flesh is their game. And this is the... eat-fleshiest. -=REAVERS=-BloodRage has caused most of the uprising, and with no precident or reason, he really seems like the average Reaver. Except, of course, for the deadliness. It's much more... deadly, than normal.

Anyway, here's the links to the original threads, done up by Markus-Katar (he does some damn good RP, lol)
New Berlin domination
Sparta domination

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If there ever was any doubts about the insanity of the corporate entity known as Synth Foods, then today they were finally dispelled.

When the president of the corporation came onto the stage of a conference in a tutu, most thought it was simply a joke. It was a costume party afterall, and a little craziness never hurt anyone. When the vice president came in wearing nothing but y-fronts and a sign that proclaimed 'free hugs', then people started to worry. The guards were foiled in their attempts to stop the duo dancing for about half an hour by several banana bombs, manufactured out of low-yield explosive and banana shrapnel.

Even though they were looking a bit nutty, one guest said the performance was; "Sensational! I loved it! I'm coming back next week - I love classicals performed in underwear!" The person who supplied this comment was the under-secretary of the minister of finance for the Synth Foods corporation, and has since been fired due to some scandal involving the presidents tutu and a very small janitorial closet. He hasn't been heard from since. Nor will he ever be...

And there are yet more surpirses from Synth Foods! They have released a new product, christened 'Synth Off-Your-Face', a new alcoholic fruit. Yes, fruit. It has been fused with a anaerobic organisms' DNA, making it produce alcohol during respiration within its cells. Thsi will be a great profit for Synth Foods, as now people can eat healthy and get completely wasted at the same time. "A popular choice for models and skinny whores alike" is the catch phrase, and it seems to be catching on well.

As for me? Nah, I'd never touch the stuff. I'd just sell it at twice the reccomended price. Wanna buy some?


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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The question has been here for a while. Thousands of years, actually. Maybe even hundreds of thousands. Did anyone ever actually read the time readouts from launch on the sleeper ships? Anyway, it's been around for a long time. It is the question of what happens after death.

Many have asked it. And the answer is always one of two: Either you go up to some version of heaven/hell. Or, you end up floating in some eternal blackness, perhaps even devoid of the consciousness of your surroundings.

Soon enough, though, this question will be answered. Teams from the Liberty-Kusari coalition company of Death Investigation Corp are sending teams into....*creepy background organ music*... THE AFTERLIFE.

The plan is to kill these scientists before sending them in. The teams will have 'Soul Cords' tied to them so their spirirts can find their way back to their bodies. This is, in fact, a very long rope will glow-in-the-dark paint on it. It is hoped it will be an adequate substitute. The scientists will perform a search and analysation exploratory expedition into the world beyond life, and record what they see. They will be doing this with glow-in-the-dark painted paper. And glow-in-the-dark painted pens. It will indeed be slightly... dumb. But it is entertaining to little children. Especially the stationery with little lizards on them.

Well, everyone - including me - has little optimism for this little adventure to be. Except the little children, who really just want the paper and pens with the little lizards on them. The company is wealthy enough to pay for it on their own, which is part of the plan and also a slight godsend, as nobody - and I mean nobody - would endorse them with money. Quotes, maybe. But not money.


Comfort, expecting this stupidity to fail, AoF Void News.

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The Daam K'Vosh rule WHAT?!?

Well, that little experiment with the glow in the dark paint, a couple of ropes, and a few dozen suicidal scientists has produced the strangest results ever known to... well, anything. Ever since humans discovered the first artifacts belonging to them, human kind has wanted to know where the Daam K'Vosh went when they left Sirius. This has been the subject of many a debate, the most famous being "The Coming of the Great Giant Soup Cans", in which it was suggested that the Daam K'Vosh were wiped out by a strange species of self-devouring food receptacles. This was quite the controversial debate, ending in several people unjured from trying to fit themselves into soup cans. Monkey hear, monkey do, as the saying goes (well, almost).

Okay, back to the story at hand. If the scientists heading this investigation expected anything whatsoever in their findings, it was certainly not this. They have found artifacts in... wherever they went. It appears that the same race, the Daam K'Vosh, have been in the other world (let's call it that for now), and have been and done their business there too. Nomads, fortunately enough, aren't there, as they are just emotionally immature little arseholes life forms who try to blast us out of the sky for no reason. On another note, there are Robots there as well, which presents another wierd question not fit for discussion in this story. Strange relics were found around the place, including a buddha shrine (wtf), a statue of Jesus (WTF), and a bobble-head Nomad (merchandising? WTF!!).

But, alas, the Daam K'Vosh seem to be missing from here too, and with them, yet again, has gone any chance of fully knowing or understanding them. The search shall continue, wherever possible... but it's fairly hard to track someone out of the afterlife. It's fairly hard to track them in there in the first place! Some other interesting thing is that no gods were there, either. It is rumoured they were out at pilates class, but who in the hell trusts an insane spirirt that keeps humping your glow-in-the-dark rope?

But there is a consolation prize. It's a big, beautiful, smoke-trailing bong! And it can be found in Tartarus. 'Roundabouts the Research Ship Minos. Just like Martha Stewart would say: It's a good thing.


Comfort, AoF Void News.

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If you're crazy, then you might as well say it now.

Well, since Synth Foods went down the tubes, and the senior staff starting dancing about in frilly things (or nothing at all), the company's profit has been falling like the Bloodhound that fell into that Manhatten guys backyard. In fact, it has plummetted so far, that it is now worth less than the shares from Pedo-corp, who, contrary to popular belief actually make farm machinery. Their original founder just had a very unfortunate name.

Since the Liberty Government last gave up money around 523AS, when they forgave all foreign debt for jump gates and trade lanes. Well, since then (and before then) Liberty has been very pessimistic about giving away its money. It may be the richest House, but that doesn't mean it has to do anything about it. But, this has forced it to think. Synth Foods is a Liberty faction, and so is heavily intertwined with the flow of money into the coffers of Libertonians. If they went under, then it would be a major blow to commerce, Synth Foods being of the big three and everything. Then again, the CEO was dancing in a tutu... DISMISSED.


Comfort, desperately trying to understand what he just wrote, AoF Void News.

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Politics are boring. It's a well-known fact. In fact, it's the only sure fact we seem to have. But somehow, with a probably quite major distortion in the fabric of space-time, it has become interesting. At least to those who like hooks for hands.

In a dingy little town, on a street with no name, in a bar with a capital "L" and little else over the front doorway, there was held a meeting on congress. Not just any congress, though; Pirate Congress. Yes, the infamous house of hispanian children (Corsairs and Outcasts), their helpers (all the house pirate factions), and the occasional pick-pocketer, gathered at this bar with little name to discuss their future. Everyone but the Xenos were there. They aren't cool enough to be invited to this kind of party.

The congress summit was called for one reason, and one reason only: Piracy is dying. Transports are still being caught and their cargo stolen, but in ever-decreasing quantities. Escorts are pitiful, every Pirate knows that, but hired guns (aka freelancers) have been defending these convoys in increasing numbers. Any escorts are shot down in seconds by pirates, but when it comes to freelancers, the tables are completely turned. Pirates are down in seconds and the convoy makes a getaway, completely free of harrassment. "This cannot be allowed to continue. Our profits are down one third this past year, and food shortages have become a plague across our territories and outposts. We cannot allow this to continue if we wish to survive. A plan has been drawn up to combat these freelancers. All will be explained shortly." was the quote from one of the Outcast delegates, or at least before our man on the insade was captured. He was caught bragging in the bathroom. Stupid...

Although, thanks to our moles stupidity, we have no idea what this plan to combat the freelancer 'threat' is, speculations have been drawn up that it could mean a major invasion on New York, which is the source of all new freelancers. No action has been taken at this time, although it is expected that military insanity may ensue. Then again, that's my speculation.

Comfort, speculating on things that will never want or require his speculation, AoF Void News.